He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
