Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
