How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
