"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm lost and stupid without you.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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