somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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