is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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