Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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