i jhust puked up my retainher.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
