Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
