I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
