Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I deserve this hangover.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
