Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
