I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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