Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
