do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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