Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
