She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
