Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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