READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Redeem this text for a blowjob
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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