Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
