I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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