I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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