I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
