$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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