something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize