dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
