Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize