Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
