U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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