i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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