i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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