were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize