you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
