I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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