Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
