look no pants
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's blow job season.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
