Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
