:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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