yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
