I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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