I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
