i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
