I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
