I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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