can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
