We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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