I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize