Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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