I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
