i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
