I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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