What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I've blown a few things in my day
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
