its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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