Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
