He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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