another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You know, be my cock's hype man.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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