He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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