i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
