If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize