Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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