I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
