It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
